


Shit Carl Gallagher would say

by DangerRollins



Series: Carl finds himself [19]
Category: Shameless (US)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 06:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7966111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerRollins/pseuds/DangerRollins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Because I was bored and having a bit of writer's block for my Carl Gallagher series 'Carl finds himself' I decided it'd be a good idea to compose a list of things Carl has probably said before. So. You're welcome.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Shit Carl Gallagher would say

**Author's Note:**

> Because I was bored and having a bit of writer's block for my Carl Gallagher series 'Carl finds himself' I decided it'd be a good idea to compose a list of things Carl has probably said before. So. You're welcome.

1\. "I don't get tricked,I get dicked (Down) bitch."

I picture him saying this to either Mickey or one of his brothers after they've tried to play a prank on him. 

2\. "Nah,Your mama spit shines it almost every night."

I picture him saying this to his significant other,Whom he asked for a blowjob from,after they turned him down by saying "Your dick is probably dirty."

3\. *In monotone* 

"No matter what you do 

Or what you say

You'll suffer through another terrible day.

You can try your hardest to fight this darkness

But your soul is still engulfed by dim flames of these games that you play day by day 

Just to say you're still alive

But are you?

Cause I remember what alive is and this ain't it

Wondering when someone will finally say shit that actually means something to anybody at all

You're facing the wall

Waiting for the call of death but it ain't coming through

I'm through

Trying to live this life that's filled with acid and passion and I just want an open casket...

The end"

 

I picture him standing in all black with guyliner on and fingerless fishnet gloves with a black beanie on his head,Staring blankly at you as he recites this god awful,Nonsensical poem that he thought was so emo as he wrote it to the tune of a twenty one pilots song (Can you guess which one?) and the only reason he decided to turn emo was because some random girl refused to fuck him and said something that he could barely remember now,Which threatened his masculinity.

 

4\. "My testicles are low and ready to go."

5\. "My dick is the rainbow. My balls are the pot of gold."

6\. "This is one rod that does not like the smell of fish."

7\. "You wouldn't notice the difference between riding me or riding in a Porsche. We've both got leatherey seats. :)"

(The amount of cringey dick jokes I could imagine Carl saying,Thinking they're actually good is scary.)

8\. "I'm so fine,I could fuck my own sister if I wanted to."

"That's incest."

"I know it's intense."

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for not updating this series! I will soon! XX


End file.
